Wedding Essentials

Having been a guest at a great many weddings recently, I have acquired some helpful tips from my own experiences and of those around me. Here are a few:

1. bring Zantac
2. remember to make Andrea wear some underwear
3. wear a cute dress to find a man--red would be catchy
4. don't flirt with the groom
5. no chocolate milk in the car pre-wedding
6. sushi is not a post-wedding traumatic syndrome treatment
7. liquor stores who will not accept charge cards for purchases under $10 should be regarded as "sketch"
8. bring directions to reception, even if it is only 2 blocks away
9. during their grand exit, do not block the bride and groom from getting into their car
10. do not stand downwind of excited bubble-blowers