Wedding Essentials

Having been a guest at a great many weddings recently, I have acquired some helpful tips from my own experiences and of those around me. Here are a few:

1. bring Zantac
2. remember to make Andrea wear some underwear
3. wear a cute dress to find a man--red would be catchy
4. don't flirt with the groom
5. no chocolate milk in the car pre-wedding
6. sushi is not a post-wedding traumatic syndrome treatment
7. liquor stores who will not accept charge cards for purchases under $10 should be regarded as "sketch"
8. bring directions to reception, even if it is only 2 blocks away
9. during their grand exit, do not block the bride and groom from getting into their car
10. do not stand downwind of excited bubble-blowers

so apparently...

I'm a nice person, after all. Thacleen and my mean thoughts did not get the better of me.

On some level this is reassuring. But it is certainly not as satisfying as the other email I had planned to send.

In the end, I will probably sleep better at night.

Perspective is important in these situations.

What animal flings its poo?

The most obvious answer would be a monkey. But, Zoey has recently been added to this list. She either flings it or eats it. Disgusting...

And she just farted as I was writing this. So gross!!!! How do you train a dog not to be gross? I will google it.

But fortunately, she is pretty cute.